THE GREAT GOSPEL OF JOHN
VOLUME 4

Jesus' Precepts and Deeds through His Three Years of Teaching

Jesus near Caesarea Philippi (cont.)

- Chapter 49 -
The soul of the somnambulist purifies itself.


1
Zorel starts to sigh in his sleep and some think that he will wake up now.
 
2
But I say to them: "O definitely not! This was only the first stage of his sleep; he will keep on sleeping for over an hour and will soon start to speak again, but in another and higher stage of his soul-life. This stage consisted in him unwinding the soul from her carnal and worldly-sensuous passions, which he saw as many illnesses on the form-body of his soul and against which he was seized by the deepest loathing. For such soul illnesses there exists no other medicine other than firstly by recognising them, then the deepest loathing and finally the firm will to get rid of them as soon as possible. Once the will is there, the healing can progress much easier.
 
3
Just pay attention, soon he will start speaking again! If he again asks you about something, friend Zinka, then answer him just with your thoughts, and he will hear and understand you quite well!"
 
4
I nearly finished giving Zinka such instructions, when Zorel started speaking again and said: "See, I cried about my great misery! From my tears a pond was created like Siloah in Jerusalem; and now I bath myself in this pond, and see, the water of the pond heals the many wounds, ulcers and bulges on the body of my soul! Ah, ah, this is a true healing bath! I still see the scars, but the wounds, bulges and ulcers have disappeared from my body of my so poor soul. But how is this possible, that a visible pond was created from my tears?
 
5
The pond is surrounded by a quite beautiful landscape; it is a landscape of consolation and lovely hope. Also in my emotions it appears, if I can hope for a complete recovery. - Ah, the landscape is so delightful; I would like to stay here forever! The water in my pond is now very clear, while before it was murky; and the clearer it becomes, the more it has a salutary effect on me!
 
6
Ah, now I also notice, that something like a strong will starts to stir within me, and behind the strong will I notice something like a word drive, and it speaks loudly: I want to, I must, - I must, because I want to! Who can restrain in me, what I want? I am free in my will; I'm not allowed to will what I should, but I want what I myself want! What is true and good is what I want, because I myself want it, and nobody can force me to it!
 
7
I now recognize the truth; it is a divine light from the heavens! All our gods are shadow figures; they are nothing, absolutely nothing. Who believes in them is worse off than a real fool; since a real fool will never believe in such most trifling gods. Nowhere I see the gods, but I see the divine light and hear the divine word. But nowhere I can see God; since He is too holy for me.
 
8
The water of my pond has changed into a lake around me! The lake is not deep; the water reaches up to my loins. And it is clear, so tremendously clear; but there are still no fish in it! Yes, there will never be fish in there; since the fish are originating from the breath of God, and this is truly an almighty breath! I'm only a very weak human soul, whose breath cannot create fish of God.
 
9
Oh, it requires a lot, one must be very almighty if one wants to create fish with ones breath! Oh, never can a person do that; since a person is much too weak for it! It would not really be completely impossible for a person, but then he must be full of the divine will and the divine spirit! For a right person this is not impossible; but I'm not a right person, therefore it is completely impossible for me!
 
10
But the water is pure, and the bottom consists also of a lot of pure, beautiful gras; it's quite miraculous: under the water so much beautiful gras! And see, the gras continuously grows and starts to displace the beautiful water! Yes, yes, the hope becomes mightier than knowledge and its accompanying fear!
 
11
Ah, ah, now I see a person on the quite distant shore; he waves to me! Yes, I want to go to him, but I don't know how deep is the lake! If somewhere quite deep places would occur, I could go under and would be lost!
 
12
But there is a voice coming from the water: 'I'm equally deep everywhere! You can walk without fear and anxiousness through me; go to him who calls you, who is going to lead and judge you! This is extraordinary, here even the water and the gras can talk! No, this never occurred before!
 
13
I now go to the friend on the shore. He must be a friend, otherwise he would not have waved to me! Zinka, it is not you, it is someone else! Now I can see you also behind him; but you are by a great margin not as friendly like him! Who might that be? But I'm very much ashamed before him, since I'm naked. My body looks quite good now; I nearly do not detect any signs of illnesses on it anymore. Oh, if I only had a shirt! But I'm completely naked, like someone who takes a bath. But I must go to him; his waving draws me immensely! I go now, and see, it goes quite well!"